If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I supernannyed him into submission
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
