You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
