Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
