Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
