I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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