That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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