I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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