Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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