How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
