we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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