Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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