I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
