I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sorry about my life...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
