Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
