dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
