Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
