That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
