its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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