I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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