Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
