I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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