Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
