Please, let me fuck your mom
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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