You can't motorboat a personality
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize