Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
