a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
