I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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