her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
