You can't motorboat a personality
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
how drunk are you?
Several
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
