HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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