Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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