Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
