her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
