i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Randomize
