okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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