how hairy? two words: wookie tits
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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