brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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