who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Moan for me like Helen Keller
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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