I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
