mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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