Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
