i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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