Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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