Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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