this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
