Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
