The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize