there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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