11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
