i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
