ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
