Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
