you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
