At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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