You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
