you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize