How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
